What
were you thinking?!? What were you thinking going out there? You knew that
nobody could restrain him. You knew he was dangerous. You knew you were placing
yourself directly in harm’s way. What made you think that this man, who rattled
his chains, who broke the bonds that held him, would listen to you?
What
did it feel like, going out to this man, whose family and friends had long ago
given up on him? For so long, it was like he didn’t have a name, and the Bible
doesn’t really give us his name either. He is named by his illness; it has
become not just who he is – it has become his name, his defining feature. He is
named “Other.” He is named “Different.” He is named “Sinful.” He is named “Possessed.”
“Demoniac.” He is named all of the names that we give to people whom we keep at
a distance. He is named all of the names that we give to the people we refuse
to know because we would rather hate them. When you ask his name, he doesn’t
even give his real name, “Legion,” he says, “for we are many.”
He
doesn’t have a name, and he wears no clothes. He is vulnerable to us,
vulnerable to us distancing ourselves from him. But we can’t see the irony of
the situation, when we believe that demonizing a group of people – gay people,
transgendered people, Muslim people, brown-skinned people – accomplishes anything. How far we have come from the faith that sends us out
of our comfort zones, to love our neighbor as ourselves, in a world in which we
are much more concerned with self-preservation. We try to keep our hands clean,
but no amount of washing them makes our propensity for killing, our treatment
of the deaths of innocent people, our ambivalence in the face of hatred… no
matter of hand washing will make us clean. Hell-bent on making ourselves pure,
on cleaning ourselves, we ignore you. We ignore what you ask us to do. We tell
ourselves that you have asked us to do something other than love people; we
ignore the parts of the Bible that are inconvenient and convict us, instead
looking for someone whose sin we might regard as greater.
So
long as we don’t recognize ourselves in the demoniac, so long as we can
demonize someone else, perhaps you won’t expose our nakedness. Perhaps you
won’t ask our name. Perhaps you won’t judge us too harshly for our ambivalence
if we are ambivalent in the name of faith. Perhaps you will overlook our
ambivalence in the face of needless death if we can make the lives of those who
died less valuable. Perhaps the only parts of the Bible that matter are the
ones that tell us what we want to hear, that we are loved, that we are
forgiven.
We’re
not quite ready when you come out to us, living among our dead, among those
whom our society has killed because they are brown- or black-skinned or because
they are gay. We’re not quite ready when you come out to us as we rattle our
chains, having shackled ourselves to a society that insists we are kept safe by
our suspicion of others, having sat by watching as the media asks survivors of
assault what they were wearing and how much they drank. We’re not ready when
you come out to us, naked and exposed, and we insist that we do not need you,
and we try to send you away. We watch our churches send you away because you
look like a stranger among us. We send you away because you look like the poor.
You look like the disaffected. You look like the homeless. You look like a
sinner because, well Jesus, that’s who you spend your time with. You look like
a fool because you don’t care about what someone looks like or whom they love
or what they did last night. You look like a loser because you go out to them,
to the losing team, to the people who nobody loves. And we don’t want to be
counted among them. “What have you to do with us, Jesus of Nazareth?” the
church asks. Please don’t answer that question just yet, Jesus, because I’m
afraid that your answer is going to be “not much.”
“What
is your name?” Jesus asks, exposing demon-possession for what it is: it is the
demonization of another person, it is the assigning to them a name other than
their own, it is the assigning to them the name of a particular skin color or
an association of who they love or an association of their gender or the
clothes they wear or the substance they use or abuse.
“What
is your name?” Jesus asks again, only this time he is asking us. “What is your
name?” he repeats. One simple question exposes us, because Jesus isn’t really
asking what name our parents gave us at birth. He is asking “Who are you?”
“What defines you?” “What have others called you?” Tell me all the names, Jesus
says. Tell me all the awful things they have said about you. Tell me everything
that is between you and me. Tell me all the things that you put between
yourself and me, the things that keep you from following – really following –
me. Tell me all your reservations and all your barriers and all your doubts and
all your fears.
I
wish that Jesus had made it easier. I wish Jesus had made belief more
convenient. I wish that we could just keep doing what we’re doing and dab Jesus
on like a little bit of cologne or perfume. I wish that faith were safe.
I
wish that we could just stay in the boat with Jesus, so that we didn’t have to
live differently, so that we didn’t have to go back to our communities and have
them realize how different we are. Take us with you, we say. But Jesus says,
“Go to your home, to the places where people will see you and say ‘Weren’t you
the one who…?’ ‘Didn’t I see you…?’” Because faith is not – and was never –
safe. It draws us out of ourselves, it exposes the fact that you come out to us
as we live among our dead, our hands, faces, and feet dirty from trying to
cover up our nakedness, from trying to judge others so that we won’t be judged.
Faith brings us to realize that Jesus was in an Orlando nightclub, holding the victims
as they died. Jesus is with a woman whose name society doesn’t know who went to a party at Stanford, giving her
courage to speak, to tell the truth. Jesus sits with the person who doesn’t
fit, who sits alone, who has been chained by the insults and shame heaped upon
them.
And
Jesus asks, “What is your name?” But he doesn’t really want you to tell him
your name. He knows your name. Jesus comes, unshackles you, wraps a cloak
around your shoulders, and says, “I know who you are. I know what your name is.
Your name is child of God.” And there are no graves dead enough and no abyss
deep enough that he cannot find you, because he has overcome the darkest grave
– societal hatred and fear that would murder an innocent victim on a cross, and
he has crossed the deepest abyss – the agony of loneliness and abandonment,
just to be with you. Jesus asks your name, vanquishes all that stands between
you and him; he refuses to be sent away; he refuses to give up; he refuses to
hate. And his love – the love that moves mountains, the love that knows us
fully – is what defines you. It names you. It sets you free. Whatever graves
and deaths you have experienced, whatever abysses exist in your lives, Jesus
crosses them to come to you, if only to remind you of your name: Beloved child
of God.
No comments:
Post a Comment